The Male Makeover

It’s the Clothes that Maketh the Man

By Linda and Steve Williams -

Linda: Last month Steve and I attended my niece, Georgina’s wedding and while Steve was trying to decide what to wear it quickly came to our attention, that he really had nothing to wear.

Steve: Well I thought the blue Cordroys were passable, I think maybe there was only one hole in it and even then it really wasn’t so noticeable.  

Linda: So like I said, he really had nothing to wear. A week or so just prior to the wedding, Steve announced that he had to take a quick business trip to France to work out the details of something. Ah bla bla bla, it’s not really important, the relevant issue was that this was an opportunity to go shopping in France.

Steve: That ‘bla bla bla’ was actually me telling you that my career was on the line if I didn’t make an urgent trip to France immediately, but what does that matter?

Linda: Oh come on darling, don’t be so melodramatic.

Steve: Basically, aside from the business that actually got attended to, it was a week a way of humiliating pain, embarrassment and poverty as my wife decided that now was the time to empty our bank account in one of the most expensive cities in the world, for the supposed purpose of getting a new tux to attend her niece’s wedding. What I am trying to say though, was that it was totally worth it.

Linda: Despite the sarcasm, I would totally agree with you. Anyway, I just want to show off some of the things that we bought.


(Pulls over a huge bag of clothes)

Linda: Okay, are we all ready? So to begin, the first little number is this salmon pink roll neck sweater from Ami. There was a great variety of colours to choose from and the sweater can be matched up well with the brand’s printed shorts and trousers.  That makes an adorable outfit.

Steve: Clearly a priority of mine too. I got to choose the actual tux that I was going to wear for the wedding. Remember, the initial reason why you justified this excursion to France? Well at least I picked up a good suit.

Linda: Tell him where you got it from.

Steve: French Connection, I know that, because it was too expensive.

Linda: Tell him what it looked like.

Steve: I said it was a suit

Linda: Oh Steve! what colour was it?

Steve: Black.

Linda: Oh God! It is a slim fit ebony tuxedo suit, with a satin backed waist coat. It actually looks marvelous.

Steve: I don’t even know what slim fit means???


Steve: Ok now mention the prize possession, the one that made you unable to stop smiling all the way back home, from Paris to Kent St. And the real reason behind this quick galavant to Paris

Linda: What do you mean those ravishing little mother-of-pearl cufflinks we bought you?

Steve: Linda….

Linda: Okay fine, one other purchase that we happened to have made was an Audrey Hepburn inspired evening dress. The top is a lace embroidered jewel encrusted design that beautifully mellows into a satin pearl pink floor length gown. It’s a Dior, I am rather fond of it.

Steve: Ha, Rather fond of it! She’s been pulling out the darn thing from her closet every night, just to take a look at it since we got back home.

Linda: Steve!

Steve: What?? It’s true!


Linda: Well, fine tell him what your favourite purchase was

Steve: Unquestionably, it was renting the Porsche Panamera. I drove the Panamera 4S and it delivered a drive that simply didn’t fail to deliver. It’s built with a 4.8 liter V8 engine. So it’s quite a powerful car that supposedly can get you from 0 – 100 km/h in 4.6 seconds, I wish I had the chance to test out its top speed because it just revved with energy. Certainly not bad considering it’s a 4 door sedan, which was full by the way with all of our shopping bags. But just for the record, Linda that wasn’t my purchase, that was courtesy of the company that I visited.

Linda: Oh well see, we basically saved money on that trip. I think it is certainly something we both hope to do again soon.

Steve: (Groan)

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